Monday, March 10, 2008
Most days I feel that I'm living my best days yet. That everything I've done in my short life before this - was not quite as good as this. This includes all the travelling, the mentoring, teaching, running retreats, volunteering, singing, performing...all of it.
Everyday, I wake up and I am a hero. I am a hero in just making toast with peanut butter. I am a hero in that I can figure out how to find and work the tv remote on demand. I am a hero because I can create FUN out of nothing. The rewards are endless - I get multitudes of kisses all day long, and better still, my kisses have become magical, they now have healing powers over a variety of ailments and emotional hurts. I get to take naps and I get to play in snow banks. I love to cook and I get to do it all day - even though I usually only have one customer who'll eat my meals (Chris) -it's still fun practising for the day that my home is filled with giant teenage boys who are never full (this I'm told from my mentors - mothers with grown sons).
I get to show my boys the world - and they are excited over "big hills", train tracks and the lake. We take frequent trips with our imaginations too. Yesterday, at bedtime, I was Queen of a faraway kingdom with my two handsome prinnces (no mommy, I'm the brave knight - corrected Lucas), and Chris was the big King. I've never had a more captive audience to all my random comments, and they usually come back to me - "oh gosh", "crap!", and "give me a break"...umhmmm
To be sure, I'm faced with daily challenges, but these challenges are not just external, they are 100% internal too - my heart is examined and exposed all the time. My spiritual and psychological research is immediately implemented and therefore my growth is exponentially guaranteed - and there is no hiding - I cannot blame my children for my failures, rather I accept them and lean on the Lord to strengthen me, to bring me to peace again, to be my joy in the midst of adversity and HE IS. I don't know what I did before this that I thought was so important, having kids has brought me right into the middle of LIFE - the simplist things are the most enjoyable things.
Hugs, blankets, baths, coffee, a cookie (or 10), a casual phone call, a walk, singing a song, playing in dirt, a picture book, a flower, love letters, sitting in a sunbeam, a purring cat, babies, smiles, sleeping children, candlelight, "I love you's", and enjoying the four seasons up close and personal. I hope I never grow upand lose sight of how grand my life is.